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Blog Battle #7: When I’m old and gray…

In BLOG BATTLE on October 15, 2011 at 8:31 pm

Guess what kids…Jenny Rae and I are bringing back the BLOG BATTLE. Its time for BLOG BATTLE #7: When I’m old and gray…

Be sure to check out her blog at: http://lilraecakes.tumblr.com/post/11490968483/oldbattybroad

I was recently delirious and wrote the following status update on my personal facebook page:

When I grow up I want to be awesome.

To this day, I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I never come up with a specific answer, because coming up with a specific answer is the same as admitting that one day, I will grow up. This fact is still unfathomable to me. I have the most severe Peter Pan Complex you can ever imagine. I still giggle. I still skip. I still laugh at the sound of the fart. These are things about me that will never change. Every day I take a flying leap out my window and escape to a place where adventure is cherished, and boring people are forced to walk the plank.

Back to the status update…

I was surprised at how quickly people hit the ‘Like’ button on that one…a couple people even commented, “you already achieved that.”

Maybe I’m already awesome, but I hope to continue to be awesome.

In fact, I hope to continue to be awesome until I’m old and gray.

I often wonder what I’ll be like when I actually grow up.

Here’s how I see myself down the road…

Hopefully I’m still married to the love of my life…and if we’re not still married, I’ll at least have two cats to keep me company during the day. I’ll wear bright obnoxious colors every day as well as over-sized hats. I’ll have grandkids. Lots of them. This I know. I’ll tell them stories. I’ll make them laugh. I’ll take them to the circus. I’ll take them anywhere, just so long as they know that life is meant to be fun. I don’t imagine that I would’ve changed much by this point in my life. I don’t imagine that I’ll suddenly be bitter or cranky. I believe that I’ll still see the world through rose colored glasses. I believe that I’ll still be a supporter of silliness and falling in love. With age comes wisdom. We learn to make better decisions. We learn not to waste our time on people who will break our hearts.

Why are people so against having a broken heart? If you get your heart broken, doesn’t that mean that you had one to begin with? It means that you were human enough to feel something for someone else, and screw the world if it didn’t work out. You were brave enough to feel something. Anything. This is what I’ll teach my grandkids. I’ll tell them not to fear making mistakes. I’ll encourage them to make mistakes. Make a plethora of them. I’ll just tell them not to be afraid of the things that life may throw their way.

I’ll tell them to stop and smell the roses. Say hello to people. Smile. Enjoy your life. You only get to live it once.

And finally, I’ll tell them to tell stories. I’ll tell them to believe in make-believe. To use their imaginations…

Wendy Darling might’ve grown up, but we all know that spunky girl would’ve still leaped out her window if she had the chance…

One of my FAVORITE shows I’ve ever done…I would do it again and again and again…Peter Pan at the Lewis Family Playhouse…and yes…I was grown up wendy…AND a fierce indian dancer.

Just for fun….

The cast video that I shot/edited…

BLOG BATTLE #6: When I was 10…

In BLOG BATTLE on June 30, 2011 at 4:34 am

BLOG BATTLE #6: What did you think you would be doing with your life when you were 10 years old?

To read my opponent’s blog, check out: http://lilraecakes.tumblr.com/post/7070565961/blogbattleround6    

When I was a kid, my parents used to watch me write my own bedtime stories for them to read to me at night. I was a writer from the beginning. When I was 10, I figured that when I “grew up,” I’d be writing children’s books. My character, “Dawdle the Duck” popped up in all of my stories. It seems like most kids have a solid list of things they want to be when they grow up. They want to be an astronaut. Or a teacher. Anything. Kids usually know. I didn’t know. I went with writer because it was something I enjoyed, but I refused to set anything that had to do with my future in stone.

Instead, I focused on more realistic goals…

Like flying.

When I was 10, I wanted to grow up to be a person capable of flying. I was obsessed with Hook from the moment it hit theaters. I spent my childhood swinging on a rope in my gramma’s backyard trying to figure out how to take photos of myself on the rope and make the rope disappear…to add to the illusion that I was actually flying. When that didn’t work, I tried to summon powers of the wind Power Ranger style and make myself capable of flying. It didn’t work out so well. At 26 years old, I have discovered how to fly. If you have some money, take a trip to Cancun and go parasailing. My friend swears the waters were shark-infested. I swear I felt like I was flying. If you’re poor, here’s the poor man’s guide to flying.

1) Get in your car.

2) Take off shoes, turn on car.

3) Drive up freeway on-ramp at full speed with every window down.

4) Prop feet up on your seat.

5) Blast music.

6) Yell something. Anything.

7) This, my friends….is the equivalent to flying.

When I was 10…I assumed that I would always get along with my family. That I would never fight with them. Disagree with them. Question them. Nowadays…I have my disagreements with my family. Everything we have been through has made us stronger. We stand up for ourselves. We voice out the problems when we have them. They have taught me how to communicate. How to be honest. How to be real.

When I was 10, I thought that “growing up” happens in one moment. I thought that you were a child, and then a minute later…you’re a grownup…

Here’s what I’ve learned…that idea is a crock of poo.

I have yet to grow up. A lot of people do. I’ve been working in some sort of customer service job since I was 18. I’ve met a lot of people. I’ve been watching how they interact for a long time.

This is what I know: Not everyone is silly. Not everyone talks non-stop. Not everyone gets giddy. Not everyone has a spring in their step. I’ve met people in their 60’s who have every one of these traits…these are the people who have never truly grown up. They have stayed a child at heart. The other day, someone mentioned that they noticed that I’m always smiling. I try to always smile. There’s always something to be excited about. There’s always a reason to be happy. It is easy for adulthood to drain the joy out of things. Bills will never go away. Unfairness will never go away. The one thing that can remain constant, is how you choose to view your world. I view mine the same way I’ve been seeing it since I was 10..I still see this damn place as beautiful. It always will be.

Also…when I was 10, I never imagined that I’d have an occupation where my job was to hang out with Mickey Mouse…

Or battle Vader….

And I definitely never thought that someone would pay me to talk about movies….

10-year-old me was pretty awesome. 26-year-old me is not too bad herself…

Blog Battle #5: Who let da nerd in da club?

In BLOG BATTLE on June 3, 2011 at 2:40 am

Blog Battle #5: J-RAE VS. JENKO

Topic: Who let the nerd in da club?

Clubs are the equivalent to high school dances….but worse.

If you aren’t half-naked, bumping and grinding, and flat on your face drunk…the guys won’t pay any attention to you…

or so i thought….

I went to Eden…one of the hipster clubs in Hollywood last week.

And I need to preface this by saying….

I left my club days (the very few that I had) behind me looooong ago. It’s just not my scene. I’d rather be in a dive bar with a cheap beer any day of the week. I don’t understand the mentality behind $15 drinks, and I’m sorry…but meeting guys in clubs is not only strange to me…it’s just unhealthy.

So with all this in mind…I went to a club…

Showed up around 10 for a friend’s b-day party…and not gonna lie…I felt out of my element. All of my “club clothes” aka…half dresses, mini-barely there skirts, naked dresses…were all in storage. The best I could do was a sundress…and flip flops. I didn’t pre-drink. I had no skin to show. And my moves on the dance floor would’ve made Steve Urkel shudder.

With all of this said, my night went a little something like this:

Whipped out my nerdy dance moves, and it still attracted guys.

Free bottle service.

Got kissed on the cheek by some random dude wandering by.

Got grabbed by another dude who wanted to introduce me to his friends.

Got gawked at, hit on…it was obnoxious.

Here’s the thing…I went into it not caring. Not looking for guys. And somehow, every guy I came into contact with not only noticed it…but was digging it.

Ladies:

If you’re going to the clubs religiously to meet men…we had it wrong all along. Here’s my advice to you. Spend 5 minutes getting ready. Run a comb through your hair. Don’t spend more than 4 minutes on your makeup. And be your awesome nerdy self. People actually dig it more….

Opponent’s Battle Response available at: http://lilraecakes.tumblr.com/

Blog Battle #4: Battle of the Disney Princes

In BLOG BATTLE on May 25, 2011 at 12:46 am

Alright kids…it’s time for Blog Battle #4. Last time J-Rae and I battled, we fought for the honor of our favorite Disney Princess. My choice? Ariel. Her choice? Rapunzel.     

This time around, we’re battling it out for the honor of the Disney Prince…because let’s face it, what’s the main reason you ever start watching those Disney flicks as a kid? For the prince…so here we go

First off…let me go through the princes I’m definitely NOT picking….

 Snow White’s Prince: Homeboy is hella handsome…but does he ever really do anything? No. He bumps into Snow White and thinks she’s pretty, and they sing a little ditty by a wishing well…then later on in the story, he gives her a kiss and saves the day. If there are any princes in training who get scared shitless in the face of danger, this is the princeliness to aspire to…

Ones I would like to pick but can’t because well….they’re not princes….

1) Peter Pan- A guy who can fly…Fly people. I mean, done and done…this would be the winner. Plus, he doesn’t wear clothes…he wears leaves…and he doesn’t want to grow up, and frankly, neither do I, so in a sense, we’re perfect for each other. And whenever I want to see him, he’ll simply fly to my bedroom window to retrieve me…talk about convenience.

2) Flynn Rider-Handsome, goatee and he’s definitely the bad boy on the outside, with the heart of a nerd. Yessir, he’s the dream boat of the bunch…and he’ll let his woman fight her own battles. Go Flynn…you or Pan would be my prince…but alas…

And the winner is…..

PRINCE PHILLIP

Oh Prince Phillip…it was a close call between you, Eric and Aladdin…here’s why you won. We understand that you were destined from birth to marry Aurora, but yet you still took the time to get to know her…i.e, your awesome dance scene in the forest. Another reason why you won, you can dance. And you’re a great dresser. AND you wear a frickin’ cape. You’re practically a super hero. In fact, you are kind of a super hero. While Aurora decided to sleep her way through the most thrilling part of her movie, you went ahead and slayed the dragon and took on Malificent…a villain so badass that they’re making a new live-action film in her honor. Oh Prince Phillip, you are one handsome beast…and you’re fierce with a sword and shield…and well…you had me with that cape. My inner Lois Lane will always swoon for you. 

Be sure to check out my opponent’s Blog Battle at: http://lilraecakes.tumblr.com/post/5795505097/blogbattleround4 

Also, wanna meet the girl behind the awesome blog? J-Rae will be celebrating the 1-year anniversary of her Lil Rae Cakes this Saturday at Sweet Harts in Sherman Oaks. FREE Event. Deets available at: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=162194523836910

Blog Battle #3: Battle of the Disney Princesses

In BLOG BATTLE on May 15, 2011 at 3:41 am

That’s right kids…time for BLOG BATTLE #3: JRAE VS. JENKO

Topic: Battle of the Disney Princesses. 

If you had to pick one princess who outshines the rest…who would you pick?

My choice is none other than Ariel…

To start off this particular blog battle, lets take a look at the super awesome reasons to adore all the other princesses.

And no…I’m not gonna mention every princess. If you’re a fan of “Mulan” or “Princess and the Frog”…sorry…I’m just kicking it oldskool…aka…princess movies that were playing when I was still a kid…So here we go.

Snow White: Let’s face it…I’m probably the most similar to her…we’re both pale, and we’re both sporting the bob. She gets to live with 7 little men and spends her time singing to inanimate objects as well as animals. Her biggest worry in life is being too pretty, because people want her dead for this very reason…Why didn’t I pick Snow White? She didn’t really accomplish anything…she was forced to run away…it wasn’t a choice she made on her own. Her biggest accomplish was teaching people the highlights of using soap.

Cinderella: She gets a fairy god-mother, and a pumpkin that turns into a fabulous coach. Not only is she saving up the ass on car insurance, but her pets sew her clothes for her…while mine merely stink up the litter box. So why didn’t I pick Cindy? She gets pitied for having to do chores…big deal…I have to pay bills…grow up Cindy. Also, she gets to lie to beautiful men about why she can’t stay out late, and they still go chasing after her.

Jasmine: Strong, independent and she can pull off a bare midriff. She gets mad props for not wanting to follow protocol and get married just because she’s “supposed” to….why didn’t she get it? Because Aladdin is hot…and she originally turned him down…silly girl.

Belle: It would seem like Belle would be the obvious choice. She’s intelligent, witty and not willing to jump into a relationship with the town douche-bag. However, she forms friendships with talking tupperware and she has a strong belief that she can change a man. Silly Belle…accept the Beast for who he is…he’s bitter…get off your high horse.

Aurora: Homegirl rocks. Her hair rocks. She has not 1…not 2…but 3 fairies watching out for her. She gets to waltz with a prince in the forest…and in the midst of all the chaos, she gets to take a nap. Why not Aurora? She was incapable of taking care of herself…she simply turned everything around her into a hot mess. Props for getting a hot makeout sesh to wake you up…You go girl.

THE WINNER IS:

ARIEL.

Sure, there are numerous reasons why Ariel should not win the title…She gives up some sick fins and an awesome voice just to be on dry land. She ditches her family and friends for the idea of a “better life,” and who the hell knows if it’ll actually be “better?” But here’s why I love Ariel…I loved her since I was a little kid. In fact, I had the fish netting hanging all over my room filled with dingelhoppers. Ariel knows what she wants outta life and she goes for it…she might not know exactly what she’s getting herself into, but she’s brave enough to take the chance. She’s not afraid to ditch something normal to try something different. Plus, lets face it…she has GREAT taste in men. Eric is definitely in the top 3 group of hot disney princes…the other two are definitely Aladdin and Philip. She’s goofy, curious and downright quirky. Congratulations Ariel. You’re not without your flaws, but you’re still frickin’ rad.

Be sure to check out J.Rae’s blog at: http://lilraecakes.tumblr.com/post/5501834397/blogbattleround3

Blog Battle #2: Victim of a Strong Personality

In BLOG BATTLE on April 30, 2011 at 11:15 pm

It’s time for BLOG BATTLE #2: JRAE VS. JENKO.

Topic: What is it like to be the victim of a strong personality?

I’m loud.

I snort when I laugh.

I don’t have a social censor.

I constantly have diarrhea of the brain. I say whatever happens to be on my mind.

If you were to become acquainted with the child version of myself, I could guarantee you would not recognize me. I was terrified of people as a child. I never talked to anyone. ‘Shy’ doesn’t even to begin to describe what I was going through.

When in public with my mom, people would always say ‘hello’ to me or try to talk to me….and I would completely shut down. My mom tried to explain to me that if I continued this behavior into adulthood, people would think that I was being mean….when honestly, I was scared shitless. 

Being a total cliche, theatre and band were the two things that snapped me out of it.

My grandma took me to see plays and musicals religiously from the time I was 3…I wanted to be up on that stage from the time I was a kid…but being so intensely shy, I was terrified to audition. I finally got the courage to audition for my first musical my sophomore year of high school. From there on out, I was in love. I did every play and every musical…not taking a break from it all until my 3rd year of college. Performing pulled me out of my shell. I felt like I was allowed to be kooky. I was allowed to be silly.

I was allowed to be me.


Fast-forward a few years later…and I’m 26 and waaay too comfortable in my own skin. I’m still loud. I’m still obnoxious. There are some pitfalls to being ridiculously awesome.

Most of the time people think I’m drunk. I’m a little too ‘free.’ People who don’t know me think that I’m intoxicated 24/7.

My life is an open book…which sounds comforting…until I open the book a little too wide…it tends to make people uncomfortable.

Also, I’m the girl who guys fall in love with a little too quickly. They’re drawn in by my adorable snort laugh and my love of lightsabers. Then…they take a step back and realize what they’re in for, and they run the other direction.

Which is fine…but it is one of the pitfalls of having a strong personality.

I have 2 cats…does this mean I’m destined to be alone? Probably not. I’m not complaining about being single. I do ‘single’ way better than ‘relationship.’…plus…there are some definite perks to having a strong personality.

For one, I’m a biiig dreamer….and I go for it. I’m the one who says that I’d like to write a play, then I’ll turn around and do it…or I’m the girl who never worked backstaged in her life, and said, ‘Hey, I can handle being an ASM.” I honestly believe sky’s the limit, and I hate it when people try to tell me otherwise. Most of the time, I admit I’m completely unrealistic with the things I want or the things I can achieve…but damn…there’s a way…I know there is.

To all the nerds, big dreamers or awkward teens who are still coming into your own, you are lovely…and I promise you, you’re going to be alright.

To read my opponents Battle Blog, please visit her at: http://lilraecakes.tumblr.com/post/5078186192/blogbattleround2

Blog Battle #1: Customized Boyfriend.

In BLOG BATTLE on April 30, 2011 at 4:54 am

So…how did the Blog Battle begin? Simple, really. I’ve been trying to blog everyday, and one day (today), I ran out of topics. Miss JRae used to work with me at Radio Disney, and she’s also been working on a super sick blog…so I wrote to her today saying, “Help! I’m out of topics and not feeling too creative.”…

And then came the birth of the awesome Blog Battle baby.

Topic #1: If you could customize your boyfriend online and have him shipped to you in 48 hours, what would he be like?

To read my response, its simple really…keep reading, and you’ll find it in this post…to read JRae’s post, simply visit her blog at: http://lilraecakes.tumblr.com/post/5062122933/blogbattleround1

I have a feeling that somewhere in the universe, there is an English teacher beaming at the fact that on a friday night, two awesome chicks such as ourselves are sitting at home battling it out in a literary sense, rather than downing shots at the local dive.

Anyway, I’m off topic.

My customized boyfriend….would look a little something like this…

First off, my customized boyfriend will be arriving in 48 hours…not in 4 years when my maternal clock is ticking so frickin’ fast that tiny babies everywhere will have to run before I try to adopt them all….

So with this said, the guy I would order online wouldn’t necessarily have to have his shit together…yet.

It just needs to be someone who could temporarily make me happy. I’m looking for a normal guy. Go ahead and laugh..I’m doing just the same. I’ve never wanted a normal guy. Normal guys are dull. They always say what’s “safe.”

I guess when I say “normal,” I mean I’d like someone whose normal relative to what I consider normal…

For example…if you consider “normal” to be staying up til the wee hours of the morning eating animal fries and watching a god-awful horror flick and loving it…to me…YOU are normal. 

Looks wise, I’m kind of picky…if you’re waaaay too handsome, I’m not going to order you. If you’re blonde, I most likely won’t order you. My order either needs to be tall dark and handsome, or a completely nerdy looking guy…if glasses come as an accessory, I’m ok with that.

For my online purchase, I refuse to order the guy who say, “Don’t worry, I’m a nice guy” every time you pull the string coming out of their back.

In my experience, guys who admit to being a nice guy are the polar opposite…they’re usually a steamy pile of douche.

I might order the guy whose warning label reads, “You will make some of the worst mistakes with me, but I guarantee I will give you a fantastic story or two to tell your girlfriends.”

Let’s face it…those ones are worth the time.

I won’t  however waste my time if your warning label reads, “Pretentious, rude, unkind, cheater, I will never fully accept who you are and I will always try to change you.” Any of the above is not worth my time.

Last but not least, I’m extremely laid-back. Practically to a fault. The online boyfriend that I would order would have to be the same. I need someone who can handle my sarcasm and throw it back at me. Someone who appreciates my flaws more than my strengths. Someone who doesn’t think to point out the things that are wrong with me, because those are the things that drew him to me to begin with.

Also, I would leave as a side-note on my order that I’m a SUCKER for daisies and daffodils. Roses are ok, but hot damn…the “happy flower family” gets me every time.

I would also note that I’m NOT a sucker for anything too cheesy. It’s not my style. To me, romance is remembering to add a shot of espresso to my coffee, not taking me out to an expensive restaurant.

And this concludes the end of BLOG BATTLE #1: JRAE VS. JENKO.

Topic #2 will post tomorrow…check back for upcoming battles..

G’night moon. G’night stars.