onceuponarealityproductions

Adventures of Quirky Girl.

In Uncategorized on July 19, 2012 at 4:38 pm

The Morning Pages. It was the best bit of advice to come out of the book, “The Artist’s Way.” It’s the idea of waking up in the morning and jotting all ideas down on paper to clear out your head. There is no room for judgement. No room for over-thinking anything. You just write. Something. Anything. Technically the morning pages are supposed to be kept private…written on notebook paper and stored someplace safe where you won’t re-read them and think, “Wow, I’m a moron.” Here’s the thing, I’m halfway through my coffee, and completely ok with you judging me, so let’s begin.

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I’m an odd bird. I just am. I’ve had friends respond to my mannerisms as, “That is something only you would do.” or, “if you were in a movie, you’d be quirky girl.” I’m quirky girl. I feel like I need a cape and my own theme song. There are some perks to being quirky. People find you pleasant to be around. The people who find you strange simply point out that you’re strange. For example, I recently learned that at work, I slip into a southern accent, and when I’ve had too much coffee, I speak-sing. The strange part isn’t that I actually do these things…the strange part is that I don’t realize I do these things. Here’s the demise of being quirky girl. Being quirky is adorable. It’s pleasant. Something new for people to experience. What people don’t tend to realize, is that quirky is also served cold with a side of bat-shit-crazy. I love the women in my family. We’re eccentric, creative, loud, quirky and when you put us in a room together we stand out. I’ve literally heard people comment, “You guys are a bit loud and obnoxious.” This was said in disgust, not out of joy. What exactly is this side of bat-shit-crazy you ask? Well, for example…I overwork myself. I’ve always been this way. When I get a day off I put myself in a coma state and I am definitely capable of relaxing, but when it’s not a day off, I work my ass off. I work too hard. Last week, I pulled a 40 hr work week plus 30 hours of OT. So what does quirky do? She finds herself crying her face off walking down the street in the middle of the night. 2 blocks later, mind you..I was completely fine. But sometimes, you gotta just cry it out. I sing in the car as normal people do. But I also talk to myself in the car…sometimes I get so wrapped up in conversations with myself that I have to pull over to focus on the conversation and finish it properly.

bat. shit. crazy.

I hide crazy well. Layer on the quirky side and people don’t see what’s underneath. Here’s what is underneath. Lot’s of suppressed crap that bubbles up once in awhile. I’m the most insecure person. I constantly have to defend what I do and the choices I make. I have an addictive personality. I have a severe wheat allergy. I sway in and out of depression when I eat too much pasta. I wish I was making this up. I overdo everything. If I work, I work 60 hours. If I’m working on a play, I let it consume my every waking moment. If I drink, helloooo 4 cocktails. Here’s the upside to all of this. If I love, I love with my whole heart. If I want to achieve something, I’ll work until I get there. This is me. Quirky and definitely not perfect. Chock full of flaws. If you’ve never seen them, trust me…they’re there. Hope you can handle the ride…

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