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Archive for July, 2012|Monthly archive page

Miss Unicorn.

In Uncategorized on July 22, 2012 at 4:47 am

I’ve never…

and I mean never….

have been the type of person to form emotional attachments to my hair. Hair grows out. You’ll get it back. Even if you over-fry, over-steam, over-color the hell out of it, somewhere in the realm of hair spirituality, your scalp will become reborn and grow back anew…so long as you pray to the lords of the deep conditioner. People ask me what my natural hair color is…and I laugh. I know for a fact that I was born a blonde. Photo documentation proves it and my mom will admit it. If that isn’t enough proof, my high school SAT score will suffice. I’m a blonde. As my hair got darker the older I got, I switched it up a bit…color wise, here’s the timeline of hair color in which I’ve endured.

Birth-Blonde

Growing up-Brunette

Highschool-Blonde to blonder to whoa snap gurl you better start defending how smart you is.

highschool-Brunette back to blonde

College-Brunette, blonde, brunette, red-head, brunette (it might’ve been black at some point).

Post college-Brunette, blonde, brunette, red-head, brunette…and now…I’m BORED. 

**My red-head phase always stemmed from my obsession with “The Little Mermaid.” Plus, red-heads are viewed as the living breathing form of a comic book character. Ask any dude. They’ll agree. You can’t make this shit up. My blonde obsession goes hand-in-hand with my carefree side. Blondes truly do have more fun. My brunette side represents my darker side…and when I say darker side, I’m referring to the fact that sometimes I drink espresso straight-up…nothing too emo in Jenko’s life. 

Now I’m ready for a change. I never understood the girls on “America’s Top Model” who cry and freak out when they have to get their hair colored. I just want to scream, “Gurl! Tyra is fixing yo weave for free! Move over and let me sit in the damn chair!”

I’m considering dying my hair in that of the unicorn persuasion. For the first time in my life, I’m in a job where I can show up to work with a neon green mohawk, and it would be ok. So I’m taking advantage of this. Unicorn hair it is. Also, for the first time in my life, I’m a little tentative. I plan on bleaching my head. Will my hair fall out??? My biggest fear is coming out of this looking like a rebellious 15-year old with daddy issues. Regardless of how effing stupid it may look, I plan on doing this. May the force be with me. Image

 

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Adventures of Quirky Girl.

In Uncategorized on July 19, 2012 at 4:38 pm

The Morning Pages. It was the best bit of advice to come out of the book, “The Artist’s Way.” It’s the idea of waking up in the morning and jotting all ideas down on paper to clear out your head. There is no room for judgement. No room for over-thinking anything. You just write. Something. Anything. Technically the morning pages are supposed to be kept private…written on notebook paper and stored someplace safe where you won’t re-read them and think, “Wow, I’m a moron.” Here’s the thing, I’m halfway through my coffee, and completely ok with you judging me, so let’s begin.

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I’m an odd bird. I just am. I’ve had friends respond to my mannerisms as, “That is something only you would do.” or, “if you were in a movie, you’d be quirky girl.” I’m quirky girl. I feel like I need a cape and my own theme song. There are some perks to being quirky. People find you pleasant to be around. The people who find you strange simply point out that you’re strange. For example, I recently learned that at work, I slip into a southern accent, and when I’ve had too much coffee, I speak-sing. The strange part isn’t that I actually do these things…the strange part is that I don’t realize I do these things. Here’s the demise of being quirky girl. Being quirky is adorable. It’s pleasant. Something new for people to experience. What people don’t tend to realize, is that quirky is also served cold with a side of bat-shit-crazy. I love the women in my family. We’re eccentric, creative, loud, quirky and when you put us in a room together we stand out. I’ve literally heard people comment, “You guys are a bit loud and obnoxious.” This was said in disgust, not out of joy. What exactly is this side of bat-shit-crazy you ask? Well, for example…I overwork myself. I’ve always been this way. When I get a day off I put myself in a coma state and I am definitely capable of relaxing, but when it’s not a day off, I work my ass off. I work too hard. Last week, I pulled a 40 hr work week plus 30 hours of OT. So what does quirky do? She finds herself crying her face off walking down the street in the middle of the night. 2 blocks later, mind you..I was completely fine. But sometimes, you gotta just cry it out. I sing in the car as normal people do. But I also talk to myself in the car…sometimes I get so wrapped up in conversations with myself that I have to pull over to focus on the conversation and finish it properly.

bat. shit. crazy.

I hide crazy well. Layer on the quirky side and people don’t see what’s underneath. Here’s what is underneath. Lot’s of suppressed crap that bubbles up once in awhile. I’m the most insecure person. I constantly have to defend what I do and the choices I make. I have an addictive personality. I have a severe wheat allergy. I sway in and out of depression when I eat too much pasta. I wish I was making this up. I overdo everything. If I work, I work 60 hours. If I’m working on a play, I let it consume my every waking moment. If I drink, helloooo 4 cocktails. Here’s the upside to all of this. If I love, I love with my whole heart. If I want to achieve something, I’ll work until I get there. This is me. Quirky and definitely not perfect. Chock full of flaws. If you’ve never seen them, trust me…they’re there. Hope you can handle the ride…

The do’s and don’ts of visiting Boise…

In Uncategorized on July 18, 2012 at 6:33 pm

I’m a Cali girl born and raised. My choice of footwear: flip flops. I would live at the beach if given the chance, and my idea of the universe is based off of the last highly advertised movie I saw. 

I moved to Boise, Idaho in February, and am in the process of packing up to move into an apartment with my lil bro until I take the next leap to NYC. After living in this town for about the past 6 months, I can honestly say, time has never flown faster. I love it here. To anyone looking to switch things up or visit a new place, Boise is a wonderful hidden gem of a town. To all of the people who only know it as the “potato state”, you’re highly mistaken. Here are my Do’s and Don’t of visiting Boise…

1) DO take a run by the river to clear your head and enjoy some nature.

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2) DON’T yell “Living in a van down by the river!!” to unleash your inner Chris Farley.

       a)Also, don’t look down at your iphone while running. You’ll run over a snake. 

3) DO take a night to visit Hyde Park and get a margarita and sit outside to watch the sun set.

4) DON’T run around taking pictures screaming out how you feel like you’re in the movie “Runaway Bride,” visiting Julia Robert’s small hometown.

5) DO visit the fry place on Broadway (Ooops, the name has slipped me), and try out one of 10 different types of french fries and select from over a dozen dipping sauces.

6) DON’T rub it in that you’re in the potato state.

7) DO drive under 50 MPH on the freeway and move your car the second the meter is up.

8) DON’T honk at others or try talking your way out of a ticket (I got two my first week here)…

9) DO visit the capitol building and take a walk around. The building is open to the public to go explore…but since it’s a little too open…

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10) DON’T sit in the high and mighty chairs and talk to pretend Congress. It’s so damn tempting though…

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11) DO go camping in Loman and visit the hot springs and jump in the river.

12) DON’T be a Cali idiot like I was and expect a bathroom facility. Camping in Cali is so not camping!

13) DO visit the bars downtown. Walk everywhere. Driving through downtown Boise on a friday night is an awful idea. Cop central.

14) DON’T expect to pay more than $4 for a drink. If you’re paying more, the bar will practically guarantee you will face-plant after their concoction.

15) DO expect to be served alcohol until you blackout. Bartenders don’t believe in ‘You’re probably done now’…

16) DON’T order a jaeger bomb. There’s nothing to “bomb.” You either shoot the jaeger straight up, or you get the two mixed and sip it like a cocktail. 

17) DO hike up to table rock, sit by the glowing cross, and have an awesome view of the town in the middle of the night.

18) DON’T not go. This one is seriously awesome.

19) DO eat a pizza from Pie Hole. Every type of pizza imaginable and the beer is incredible. Hipster joint with video games and a great view of 8th street.

20) DO see an opera out here. Opera is taken very seriously here. They fly people in from all over the country to perform at Opera Idaho.

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21) DON’T expect the sun to ever set during the summer…you can seriously begin your evening at 10pm and it is still daylight out…

22) DO check out a staged reading at Hyde Park Books and have some wine and enjoy the evening.

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23) DON’T leave Hyde Park without checking out an antique shop or the ice cream parlor.

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24) DO go to the zoo or rose garden when you wanna do something outdoorsy. 

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25) DON’T try to buy liquor on a Sunday. It’s nearly impossible.

26) DO visit Freaks Alley. State-commissioned graffiti art. It’s pretty damn cool.

27) DON’T not visit Boise. So many people have reacted to my move as, “Why would you move there?” To all the people who have never been, don’t be afraid to explore. This place is amazing, beautiful and full of things to do. Coming from California, it’s easy to think that Cali is the only place to be. It’s not. It’s just not. To all you road-trippers, make Boise your stop and I’ll show you around. 

The world according to Belle…

In Uncategorized on July 3, 2012 at 5:06 am

I promise a Hollywood Fringe recap in the next couple days…but for now, I need my brain to take a laxative and flush some stuff out. So instead of giving you facts, I’m gonna give you fluff.

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I’m a Disney nerd. If this is a shocker, you haven’t spent more than 5 minutes with me. I have the Disney persona from years of working for the Mouse that has worn off and decided to stay with me…forever. I grew up at Disneyland then continued to work there. I mean hell…I wrote a whole damn show about my ‘fairy tale’ complex. So  there I was…driving my car after work today…blasting my Disney pandora as usual…

If I’m in a ‘bad-ass’ mood I’ll go with the Danny Elfman Pandora, but my usual go-to is Disney. And today I’m screeching out the lyrics to “Part of Your World” with the windows down so that all of the Idahoans could admire my raw vocal skills that would make a cat suicidal. After “Part of Your World”, “Belle” comes on from the opening of “Beauty and the Beast,” and I just about jumped on top of the car with joy. I mean, c’mon. It’s the best song in the movie. As the song wore on, my joy slipped away, and I started thinking, “Damn…Belle’s kind of a biatch.” I mean, how did they develop Belle’s character for the opening scene of the film?

“We need to make you extremely likeable within the first two minutes, but all the while you need to berate and be above everyone you see.”

And yes, Belle does have a redeeming moment when she’s sitting in the pile of thistles singing about how she wants something more in her life. And trust me, I can relate. But still….Belle…you’re in frickin’ France…not Compton. Your life isn’t half bad, sweetheart. What if Belle had taken two seconds to open her eyes and appreciate what was around her? While I completely understand the fire being lit under your ass when you want to move things forward with your life, it’s also important to enjoy the ride. I have never completely understood this concept until recently. I moved to Boise, and the first thing I thought was, “Jesus Christ. I’m keeping all my boxes in the car and staying a month tops.” I wasn’t ready to give anything that wasn’t NYC a chance. Nothing personal, Boise. I was just being a total Belle. It didn’t take long for Boise to grow on me. I love the fact that even on a Monday during normal business hours, you can find people sitting downtown sipping cocktails or bike riding as if its a carefree summer day. The pace is slower. People are more relaxed. People take the time to enjoy each day. There’s something comforting in that. Damn you, Belle. Maybe you should’ve enjoyed the towns folks a little more.

Then what does Belle do? She runs off to this castle with a scary beast living inside. NYC is my castle….but lately…it feels like my castle that I’m running off to in the middle of a torrential downpour with gargoyles chasing after me. It feels scary. I feel like there’s certain people who are just made to live in NYC. People who never owned a car. People who have zero debt. People who don’t own more than two pieces of furniture. People who don’t own cats….

I own a car that I’m still paying off…I have two cats…and let me tell you…when I adopted them, it never once crossed my mind that I would someday have to make the decision of whether I was going to pack them in my uhaul or squeeze their carriers under my seat on an airplane.

You just don’t think about this kind of stuff…you max out credit cards. You take out student loans. You get a car. You setup a lifestyle that is meant for a certain coast, and you start to realize that you might’ve dug yourself in a hole when you realize you’re living on the wrong coast. Don’t you worry, I’ll get to NYC…and when I do, all of the tupperware will say ‘hello’ to me and make me a yellow gown so that I can strut through Central Park with my head held high, and finally say to myself…”I made it here. I finally made it here.”