Dare to be Wendy…

In Uncategorized on February 22, 2012 at 4:44 am

In case you haven’t guessed, I’m obsessed with Peter Pan. Its the story I grew up with. Its the story I believe in. Its the concept that I live my entire life by.

When life gets nuts, take a flying leap out the window and find a new adventure. Wendy Darling is one of my favorite characters of all time. She’s the inspiration for the new play I’m developing, and lately, I feel like we have a hell of a lot in common.

People always think that I’m naive. That I have no understanding that sometimes, the world is a shit storm. People think I don’t have problems because I smile all the time. People think I suppress my feelings because I don’t complain every waking moment of every day.

Here’s how I see it…

Life is difficult. Its not perfect. And yes, sometimes, its an endless shit storm. I have problems. I have worries. I have concerns. Not only do I have all of these things, but I’m very much aware of them. If I dwelled in it every waking moment of the day, and if I complained to everyone around me, I would sink. Here’s the true secret to happiness: You are not entitled to anything. There are too many people walking around thinking they deserve to have their careers/love lives/etc served to them on a silver platter. You are not entitled to any of it. If you want something out of life, believe in yourself and take the leap. Work your ass off for it. And if you don’t get it, it doesn’t mean that you were wronged. It doesn’t mean that the universe is blind for not recognizing “what is such an obvious gift to mankind.” It simply means, you need to swallow your pride and work harder.

I’ve made a lot of choices recently that have made people question me. Some people would be quick to assume that I’m running and hiding from my problems. Others might assume that I gave up. That I was desperate. That I wasn’t enough of a bohemian trying to live the dream. Or, that I need to give my life a makeover and call it quits before I get myself into so much debt that I will suddenly have a new topic for my next play…which I’m actually considering…my conversations with creditors could be an entire comedic monologue series on its own. Moving on…

Here are a couple cold hard facts about me:

The idea of “authority” makes me nervous. I hate wearing suits. Furthermore, I’m uncomfortable around people wearing suits. I sound like a girl who has daddy issues.

But I don’t..my dad’s actually really cool. I kinda won the lottery in that department.

I’m just anti-convention. When I’m asked what my “5-year plan” is in interviews, I always laugh and say, “I don’t know.” I usually don’t know what I’m doing next week, little yet in 5 years.

I dream big. Dreaming big isn’t enough for me. I’m a planner. I have a plan for every cloud that is sifting through my imagination. I’m a doer. You can tell me ‘no’ a million times and I’ll take it as a compliment. I’ll find another way to get things done. The past couple months have been without a doubt…challenging.

Its been a shit storm.

I dream to escape reality. But I also dream because I believe that I can create something new to provide a new reality for myself.

Wendy Darling was a kid in the nursery who had issues with the idea of growing up. She was wise beyond her years, but unable to let go of the childish side of herself. One day, after what had to have seemed like the turning point in her relationship with her father, she went to sleep and dreamed of a land that was better. A land where dad was the villain. Dad was Hook. Everything was justified. Not only was everything justified, but there was a boy who could fly. A boy who believed in the same things as her. Even in a place that could only be described as Wendy’s paradise, Wendy came upon a realization. A realization that even though she was exactly in the place she wanted to be, she had to grow up. Not because she had to, but because she wanted to. So she flew away. The lost boys assumed that she would forget about them. She would never forget. She could never forget. You see, Wendy wasn’t flying away from her life. She wasn’t ending the adventure. She was simply flying toward a new adventure.

I feel like that’s what I’m doing right now. None of my dreams have changed. I’ve just made a hell of a lot of sacrifices to ensure that they happen the way I want them to happen. I dream of living in New York. I dream of creating theatre. Producing theatre. Writing theatre. Acting theatre. Every little choice I’m making now is a choice to push me in that direction. I don’t expect everyone to understand. All I want to say, is I’m on an adventure. Its scary. Its something I’d never thought I’d do…and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  1. Oh dear Erika, it warms my heart that we are so alike. Reading your blog sometimes feels like talking to myself, in the best sort of way possible lol.

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