Damn you, Halloween.

In Uncategorized on October 25, 2011 at 1:31 am

I’ve been tossing around reasons in my head all day just to answer one silly question.

Why am I sad?

I came up with every reason I could to justify it.

You’re on your period…wait…you’re clearly not.

Maybe you’re pmsing…lame excuse.

Maybe you’re money stressed…isn’t every 20-something living in LA? Next…

I couldn’t figure out a reason to save my life. All I can say is I absolutely have not felt like myself the past week. I feel more insecure about myself both physically and emotionally than I ever have. I feel cynical. I feel bitter. I feel self-conscience. I feel angry. I feel soft-spoken. I feel like I don’t trust anyone.

This is not a pity party. I don’t like whining. Not from other people, and especially not from myself. I just genuinely wanted to know what the hell was wrong…

then I figured it out..at least I think I did…

This is my theory…

Everyone gets lonely around Thanksgiving/Christmas time. Its the time when people start evaluating where they’re at in life. Are they in a happy relationship? Do they have someone to bring home and meet the family? I never get Thanksgiving/Christmas seasonal blues. What I’m realizing is I get Halloween Seasonal Blues…BADLY.

I had the seasonal blues so badly last Halloween season that I don’t think I said more than 20 words to people at work for the duration of the month. I shut down. I love this Halloween season so damn badly and I expect too damn much from it that I just shut down.

I want someone to carve pumpkins with and watch scary movies with. I want to obsessively do every cliche activity on the typical Halloween To-Do List. I want to see my family. I want to be a little kid again. Damn you, Halloween season. I love you so much that I’m letting you tear me apart.


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