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Archive for June, 2011|Monthly archive page

BLOG BATTLE #6: When I was 10…

In BLOG BATTLE on June 30, 2011 at 4:34 am

BLOG BATTLE #6: What did you think you would be doing with your life when you were 10 years old?

To read my opponent’s blog, check out: http://lilraecakes.tumblr.com/post/7070565961/blogbattleround6    

When I was a kid, my parents used to watch me write my own bedtime stories for them to read to me at night. I was a writer from the beginning. When I was 10, I figured that when I “grew up,” I’d be writing children’s books. My character, “Dawdle the Duck” popped up in all of my stories. It seems like most kids have a solid list of things they want to be when they grow up. They want to be an astronaut. Or a teacher. Anything. Kids usually know. I didn’t know. I went with writer because it was something I enjoyed, but I refused to set anything that had to do with my future in stone.

Instead, I focused on more realistic goals…

Like flying.

When I was 10, I wanted to grow up to be a person capable of flying. I was obsessed with Hook from the moment it hit theaters. I spent my childhood swinging on a rope in my gramma’s backyard trying to figure out how to take photos of myself on the rope and make the rope disappear…to add to the illusion that I was actually flying. When that didn’t work, I tried to summon powers of the wind Power Ranger style and make myself capable of flying. It didn’t work out so well. At 26 years old, I have discovered how to fly. If you have some money, take a trip to Cancun and go parasailing. My friend swears the waters were shark-infested. I swear I felt like I was flying. If you’re poor, here’s the poor man’s guide to flying.

1) Get in your car.

2) Take off shoes, turn on car.

3) Drive up freeway on-ramp at full speed with every window down.

4) Prop feet up on your seat.

5) Blast music.

6) Yell something. Anything.

7) This, my friends….is the equivalent to flying.

When I was 10…I assumed that I would always get along with my family. That I would never fight with them. Disagree with them. Question them. Nowadays…I have my disagreements with my family. Everything we have been through has made us stronger. We stand up for ourselves. We voice out the problems when we have them. They have taught me how to communicate. How to be honest. How to be real.

When I was 10, I thought that “growing up” happens in one moment. I thought that you were a child, and then a minute later…you’re a grownup…

Here’s what I’ve learned…that idea is a crock of poo.

I have yet to grow up. A lot of people do. I’ve been working in some sort of customer service job since I was 18. I’ve met a lot of people. I’ve been watching how they interact for a long time.

This is what I know: Not everyone is silly. Not everyone talks non-stop. Not everyone gets giddy. Not everyone has a spring in their step. I’ve met people in their 60’s who have every one of these traits…these are the people who have never truly grown up. They have stayed a child at heart. The other day, someone mentioned that they noticed that I’m always smiling. I try to always smile. There’s always something to be excited about. There’s always a reason to be happy. It is easy for adulthood to drain the joy out of things. Bills will never go away. Unfairness will never go away. The one thing that can remain constant, is how you choose to view your world. I view mine the same way I’ve been seeing it since I was 10..I still see this damn place as beautiful. It always will be.

Also…when I was 10, I never imagined that I’d have an occupation where my job was to hang out with Mickey Mouse…

Or battle Vader….

And I definitely never thought that someone would pay me to talk about movies….

10-year-old me was pretty awesome. 26-year-old me is not too bad herself…

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Summer Movie Season: Winner…SUPER 8.

In Movie Reviews on June 25, 2011 at 9:28 pm

Super heroes. Villains. Little kids saving the world. Bring it summer movie season. Bring. It.

There are some hits and misses….here are my silly opinions and rants on the subject.

Beginners.

I genuinely wanted to fall in love with it. It could’ve been the next 500 Days of Summer….if they would’ve stuck to a story format. Its worth it for the performances. Ewan McGregor is completely charming as usual…even though he is a hopeless mess. His leading lady stole the movie for me. She made me want to be french and smoke cigarettes and rollerskate through hallways in the middle of the night.

The dialogue is witty and clever. I like what the writer was going for…but it didn’t quite follow through. Director Mike Mills started out as a graphic designer, so you can expect a stylized film, however, it misses that final punch that it needs to grab you emotionally. There was zero climax for me. Still…its worth checking it out. If anything, see it for Christopher Plummer.

The Green Lantern.

I really wanted to love this one as well. I enjoyed the two hours of Ryan Reynold’s ripped body and comedic timing. Perfect choice for the role. The story was interesting, but for me…there were too many holes in the story…as well as too many visual effects gone wrong. It felt like an episode of Power Rangers on a saturday morning hyped up on visual speed. It was too much at times. Peter Sarsgaard was fantastic. I loved every scene he was in. Blake Lively as the leading lady though? She wasn’t bad. And I love her as a brunette. But the whole time, I kept thinking, “When the hell is she going to check her text messages to see what gossip girl has to say about all of this?” I would’ve liked to see someone a little older in this role. Also, her weave was a hot mess.

I did however, enjoy the subtle tribute to Superman….you know the scene: Superman flies onto Margot Kidder’s patio and seduces her. The Green Lantern did the same thing…only this time, his leading lady wasn’t holding a glass of wine and discussing her panties and lead walls. All the same…I loved it.


The winner for me….was Super 8.

If Goonies and Lost had a love child, you’d get Super 8.

Not gonna lie, I actually cried a single tear. I laughed. I jumped. And the kids were adorable. It reminded me of the movies I grew up with. 2 hours of fantastic nostalgia and thrills. Elle Fanning stole my heart. They all did. I’m not going to say much on the movie. Just go see it. And enjoy.

A pooh-y kind of day.

In Uncategorized on June 14, 2011 at 8:36 pm

Not gonna lie. Today has been a pooh-y…more like shitty kind of day.

First off, I woke up confused.

I couldn’t figure out what day it was…little yet be able to comprehend if I had work that day or not. After a few minutes of sheer panic, I remembered what day it was and I also remembered that I didn’t have work until 3pm. What I didn’t remember was the fact that I was supposed to move my car at 10:00 for street sweeping…so what I thought was going to be a chill morning turned into a parking ticket.

From officer King.

Really now? Really?

Went to starbucks to use their wifi…could not find parking…come to think of it, I’m in a 2-hour zone and I don’t remember what time I got here….please don’t let me get 2 tickets in one day.

Today is a shitty day. And that’s ok. I don’t feel like me. I don’t feel like sunshine that threw up on a unicorn in leprechaun land.

I just feel shitty. Angry. In fact, I think I’m scaring people at Starbucks as we speak. My face is twisted in a permanent frown.

Its one of those days where I want to SCREAM. Where nothing feels right. I don’t get these days very often, so I figured I needed something to cheer me up…that thing…is Pooh…at least, the new Pooh music mix by my beloved Pogo. Enjoy.

I’d like to live in a French film.

In Rants on June 5, 2011 at 9:21 pm

Every day I feel like I go through a different phase. Sometimes, I repeat certain phases. I’ll experience an extremely nerdy day. Or a skanky day. Or an alcoholic day. Or a writer day. In this rainbow of phases, I’ve discovered that the sum of all of it equals this quirky personality that continues to develop. Today, my French phase re-surfaced.

It happened after a cup of coffee. Two cups of coffee. I was watching the final season of Sex and the City…the episode where Carrie learns french and moves to Paris with the a-hole aka Alexandre Petrofsky. I was sighing through the entire episode. I realize that I can’t afford to hop a plane and visit Paris. But damn it. Why can’t my life be a french movie? Or a french movie from the 60’s? It all started with A Woman is a Woman. The gorgeous costumes. The blue and green eyeliner. The wine glasses. The dialogue. I was hooked.

My life has to be a french film.

This was the scene that stole my heart:

Then came Amelie….and I knew. My life needs to be french. Every scene of my life has to come from a french film. Oh, Audrey Tautou….I want to be you when I grow up.

Until then, at least I have your movies….if you haven’t seen Priceless, do yourself a favor. So well-written and charming….and it makes me want to be a gold-digger.

Damn you coffee. Damn you for giving me unrealistic goals. I know I can’t jump through the screen and appear in a 60’s french film…but if I could…I would. At least I would today.

The appeal of the Dive: The search for the New Mclaren’s.

In Rants on June 3, 2011 at 11:22 pm

How I Met Your Mother.

My favorite show. Pretty sure I quote it at least once a day.

In case you haven’t seen the show, there’s a billion reasons to love it. Neil Patrick Harris’s portrayal of Barney Stinson has to be one of the best characters on TV. I fall more in love with Marshall (Jason Segel) as each episode passes by. But the one character that gets overlooked, yet holds the entire show together…is the bar….

McLaren’s is the Dive. I want a McLaren’s in my life.

McLaren’s is the only place you ever drink at. It’s the place where you can always find someone you know…

Cue “Cheers” theme song…

P.S…if you haven’t watched “Cheers” since you were a small child…do yourself a favor and re-watch it on instant netflix. The writing blows my mind every.time. They never leave the bar, and its still genius!

I’ve begun searching for my McLaren’s and I’ve found a couple close calls. My top two choices are “RobinHood’s” in Sherman Oaks…and coming in a close 2nd, is “Fox n’ Hounds” in Studio City.

So, what’s the big deal with the dive? You don’t have to deal with pretentious people. The drinks are reasonably cheap. You’re allowed to wear jeans. I don’t know why, but every time I drink at a dive bar, I feel like I’ll find a story. I feel like something interesting will happen….no pressure, dive bar. Even if nothing interesting happens, I promise you…I’ll still have a great time.

And now…I leave you…with some great bar moments…among other things…

Blog Battle #5: Who let da nerd in da club?

In BLOG BATTLE on June 3, 2011 at 2:40 am

Blog Battle #5: J-RAE VS. JENKO

Topic: Who let the nerd in da club?

Clubs are the equivalent to high school dances….but worse.

If you aren’t half-naked, bumping and grinding, and flat on your face drunk…the guys won’t pay any attention to you…

or so i thought….

I went to Eden…one of the hipster clubs in Hollywood last week.

And I need to preface this by saying….

I left my club days (the very few that I had) behind me looooong ago. It’s just not my scene. I’d rather be in a dive bar with a cheap beer any day of the week. I don’t understand the mentality behind $15 drinks, and I’m sorry…but meeting guys in clubs is not only strange to me…it’s just unhealthy.

So with all this in mind…I went to a club…

Showed up around 10 for a friend’s b-day party…and not gonna lie…I felt out of my element. All of my “club clothes” aka…half dresses, mini-barely there skirts, naked dresses…were all in storage. The best I could do was a sundress…and flip flops. I didn’t pre-drink. I had no skin to show. And my moves on the dance floor would’ve made Steve Urkel shudder.

With all of this said, my night went a little something like this:

Whipped out my nerdy dance moves, and it still attracted guys.

Free bottle service.

Got kissed on the cheek by some random dude wandering by.

Got grabbed by another dude who wanted to introduce me to his friends.

Got gawked at, hit on…it was obnoxious.

Here’s the thing…I went into it not caring. Not looking for guys. And somehow, every guy I came into contact with not only noticed it…but was digging it.

Ladies:

If you’re going to the clubs religiously to meet men…we had it wrong all along. Here’s my advice to you. Spend 5 minutes getting ready. Run a comb through your hair. Don’t spend more than 4 minutes on your makeup. And be your awesome nerdy self. People actually dig it more….

Opponent’s Battle Response available at: http://lilraecakes.tumblr.com/