oh no! The planter swallowed the ring!

In Uncategorized on May 6, 2011 at 6:21 am

I got off work early the other night, and decided to kill some time in downtown Burbank so that traffic could die down a bit.

I wound up at Barney’s Beanery, sitting on the patio enjoying some really good conversation and probably the best bagels and lox platter I’ve ever had.

So I’m wrapped up in conversation, and have somehow managed to tune out the table radios blasting sports stats at every booth in my vicinity…when outta the blue, something catches my attention.

There’s a couple digging through the planters that are lining the patio at Barney’s. 

I’m intrigued by them, because 1) this sort of activity seems to be routine for them…

I mean, really…how is it routine to be searching through the planters at Barney’s? At this point, Happy Hour was almost over so I figured maybe they had pounded a few cheap beers and decided this would be a fun game….but something seemed different…

The table next to us took an interest and asked what was going on…

The couple responded by saying that they had eaten at Barney’s on the patio the night before and got into a huge argument….The argument ended with the girl removing her engagement ring and chucking it toward the planters…

So now here they are…the day after the fight… desperately digging through the planters trying to find the ring.

My instinct was to laugh.

I know.

I’m a rotten human being.

But it was something out of a well-written sitcom.

My day was filled with work and chilling at a restaurant…Their day started off with the conversation, “Well honey, lets head on over to Barney’s again and see if we can find that damn ring.”

Then I felt extremely sad. All in one fucking moment.

Did it matter at this point if they found the ring or not? What had they fought over? Was it something silly? Did she perhaps drink her peach martini a little too quickly and got a little overly dramatic?

I guess what I’m saying is…what happens after they find this ring? It doesn’t delete the fight. I hope that its something they’re able to look back on and have a good laugh. I really do. I don’t even know these people but I think there’s too much damn divorce in the world….

So…to the people looking for your ring, I hope you find it….and if you don’t, I hope you find the solution to whatever you fought over, because to be honest, that is the real thing you want to find.

Dear Planter People:

I hope that you’re entertaining scene at Barney’s was just a fun chapter in the romantic comedy that is your life. Maybe the ring rolled into the street and if it did, who gives a shit. What’s important, is you casually entertained the patio people on that hot early summer day during happy hour, and you did it with grace and with a damn good sense of humor, might I add. You also reminded a girl who likes to travel through life alone, that sometimes when the shit hits the fan…those are the times when you can have the most amount of fun. Thank you planter people…I actually found your ring and pocketed it…it was gorgeous. KIDDING.


Good night moon and stars.


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