onceuponarealityproductions

retard.

In Rants on April 4, 2011 at 5:26 am

I’ve become very aware of something…

there are many things…

that I am completely incapable of.

A) I can’t wear my hair down. It bugs me. I wish I could pull off sexiness 24/7, but I honestly can’t do it for a number of reasons:

  1. My hair has a mind of its own. One day, its ridiculously curly. The next, straight as an arrow.
  2. I’m lazy. I don’t use blow-dryers, I give up after 2 minutes with a curling iron, and I’m bored after 5 minutes with a flat-iron. I wish crimpers were back in style. I would not be too lazy to use that…because I’m not afraid to admit…I still think they’re frickin’ badass.

B) I am incapable of looking like perfection by the end of a shift. I usually look like I’ve been hit by a semi. My hair is askew. My eye makeup starts to leak. I’ve usually chipped/bitten off most of my nail polish by this point.

C) I’m incapable of keeping my conversations (and thoughts for that matter) G-rated…or even PG-13. My mind moved into the gutter quite awhile ago, and to be honest…its very comfortable residing there.

D) I’m incapable of drinking and not texting boys. Its not even because I like the attention at this point…its because its a fun pasttime from my college days and I feel as if I would be betraying “college me” if I didn’t indulge in this once in awhile.

E) I’m incapable of winking. True. Story. I absolutely cannot wink. Another example of my inability to be sexy. I mean c’mon. Even non-sexy people can wink. Its a rite of frickin’ passage.

F) I’m incapable of giving up fast-food for any length of time. I’m in love with Big Macs. And Taco Bell bean burritos. And In N’ Out animal style fries. And the monster tacos from Jack n’ the crack…i know….its bad. In general, I try to stay pretty healthy, and I don’t overdue it on any one thing. But hot damn. If a Big Mac struts by me with his 6-pack, I’m gonna tap that.

G) I’m incapable of not eating eggs every day. I seriously eat eggs about 2 meals a day. Redic.

H) I’m incapable of following through on some things…

I)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: