The Anti-Goldilocks Dating Guide to Awesomeness.

In Dating. on March 20, 2011 at 3:32 am

We all know the story of Goldilocks.

She likes everything in her life to be…

just right.

She won’t stand for the cold porridge.

Or the hot porridge.

It has to be…

just right.

The chair can’t be too hard..

Or too soft…

It has to be..

just right.

Now, I think it is important to know what you like. So let’s apply the tale of lil miss Goldilocks to dating.

You should know what you like. Its not fair to the dudes out there to date around and “find yourself” as you test drive every guy and see what “type” suits you best.

You know what you like.

And I’m sorry Goldi, but saying you like it “just right” isn’t kosher to me….because let’s be honest, “What exactly constitutes just right?”

If I ran into Goldilocks, I’d pull her aside, and I’d say this.

Look Goldi, not everything in life is meant to be just right. If you want a just right kind of guy, be ready for a life of boredom. Be ready for a guy who plays it safe. Be ready for a guy who will never put himself out there by making a complete fool out of himself….just so that he can get a giggle out of you.

I don’t like my men just right.

I like them hard.


Did you pull your mind out of the gutter? Cause mine is still there…

Hell, sometimes I like them soft.

Sometimes hot. And sometimes cold. I like a guy who is so passionate about life and his opinions that he will occasionally piss me off…and make me care more about the world around me. I like guys who are nerdy. Guys who are comfortable enough in their own skin to be themselves…even if being themselves means being quirky…loud…abstract. I like guys shorter than me. I like guys who are way taller than me. I like guys who question themselves…who maybe don’t have everything figured out…who don’t necessarily have a plan…who want to be….


And let me tell you something Goldi….there are plenty of guys out there who are just right. Guys who will say the right thing even if they don’t mean it…just because its safe. Guys who will say everything that you want to hear because they know you want to hear it. Guys who are afraid to show you who they really are…because if they did, you would realize that they aren’t just right at all. They’re hot. They’re cold. They’re hard. They’re soft.

And that’s ok.

It’s ok to step out of your comfort zone, Goldi.

Ditch that mediocre porridge and sit in the hard chair. Don’t be afraid. You might even like it. You might even be happy.

And that, my friends…

Is the Anti-Goldilocks Dating Guide to Awesomeness.


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