onceuponarealityproductions

Holy shit batman, I’ve been single for over 3 years.

In Superheroes. on March 9, 2011 at 7:44 pm

I was browsing facebook, and came across a status update from a friend that totally pressed the “annoyed” button in my brain. It had something to do with being excited about being at a party with his girlfriend and having his arm around her.

My first  reaction was, really??

That’s what you have to tell the world is going on in your life right now?

And if you’re reading this now, “boyfriend man”, hang in there…I’m about to make myself look like a douche in about 2 seconds, so this will all be in your favor…

In the exact moment that the “annoyed” button was pressed, I suddenly flash-backed to yesterday. It was 4 pm. Location: CVS parking lot. I had just spent over $30 at CVS, all in the name of making me feel better.

And no…I didn’t purchase vodka.

I was equipped with chapstick, cough drops, dayquil and nyquil. I never get sick. Most people get ill. They have to miss out on activities. I never get to the bed-ridden point. The worst I’ll get is a walking coma, but its still very manageable. And yesterday, I felt like ass. Ass heated up, thrown in a blender with cockroaches, and spread all over a toilet seat that was later thrown in an over-polluted ocean. Ass, I tell ya.

As I walked to my jeep in the CVS parking lot, I was struck with a thought. For a brief moment, I felt like Lois Lane. I just frickin’ wanted to be saved. I wanted someone who would sit and watch one too many episodes of How I Met Your Mother with me. Someone who would look into my eyes and genuinely tell me that I look beautiful…hell, you could lie for all I care…I also looked like ass. Even a lie would’ve been appreciated. Someone who laughs with me when I go into a delirious fit of giggles over nothing...Nothing being incapable of holding my dayquil.

So with all of this said, I can understand the sentiment of that facebook post. Sometimes, you’re just so proud that you found something special, you wanna tell the world. I don’t know if I’ll go as far as posting every detail on my fb status…but not gonna lie…I was about 2 seconds away from pulling a Margot Kidder in Superman II. I didn’t have access to Niagra Falls, but I could’ve thrown myself in front of a car or something…all in the name of,

*fingers crossed*

Superman arriving and helping my pathetic self out.

And let me be clear on a couple things…

I know I’m a catch.

I’ve been single for over 3 years, and I can still honestly say that I believe I’m a catch.

And no, I’m not pointing the finger at men and saying, “You’re all just silly for not noticing my awesomeness.”

The only person I’m pointing the finger at….

is myself.

I purposely date the wrong guys. I date guys who I know from DAY 1…its not going to work out…

Why would I put myself through this?

I haven’t had enough faith in myself lately. I haven’t felt like I deserve someone who cares about me. I finally feel like I’ve been able to dig myself out of the dark hole I’ve been nesting in, and I feel worthy of something meaningful. Something more worthy of my time…And don’t worry, I’m not intentionally looking for anything…but I’m also not shutting myself out to the idea of it.



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