Lightsabers in the parlor…

In Sexy Nerd. on February 23, 2011 at 8:58 pm

My life at present: I am still in my pajamas…and the time is 12:27.

Unacceptable. What is even more unacceptable is the t-shirt that I chose to wear to bed. I bought it at Old Navy last year, because it ended up in the sales bin. It’s a hot pink t-shirt that reads, “The Boys Love Me.”

A tad obnoxious, I will admit. But last year, I dug it…mostly because it was only $3 but that’s beside the point.

At present, it is 12:28 and I’m still wearing this ridiculous shirt, and I realize that this shirt might be lying. I mean, sure…the boys love me. I’m goofy Erika. I love talking about farting. Most people who know me have never seen me with my hair down, so even though it’s kind of juvenile…I’m kind of a tomboy. I have a lightsaber on a display stand in my room. I own every Lord of the Rings soundtrack. I don’t spend more than 5 minutes on my makeup because after 5 minutes, I’m completely bored. I look at a trip to the nail salon as a modern form of medieval torture. I would rather clean a cat box…which brings me to my cats. I have two of them…both named after halo characters from red vs. blue. So, yes…the “boys love me.” I’m not high maintenance…and I have a ridiculous appreciation for ridiculous things.

So, the boys love me….kind of like Elizabeth Bennet in “Pride and Prejudice.” The idea of “Elizabeth” is a good idea to some…but no one is jumping to dance with her. She doesn’t have the blatant sex appeal of her sister Jane, who gets asked to dance not once…but twice a night (what a slut). Elizabeth is seen sitting in a corner not getting asked to dance by mister hot Darcy at the parties. She apparently has a complex about her nose, which she doesn’t even realize until it is pointed out to her. I’m totally Elizabeth!

And yes, I’m reading “Pride and Prejudice” for the first time….so bear with this for a moment.

One of the quotes in the beginning of the book caught my eye…

“You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these twenty years at least.”

The perfect example of recognizing someone’s flaws, and explaining them in a way that is poetic. To be honest, I have issues with people trying to psychoanalyze me. It happens all the time. People want to be the archeologist in my life and try to dig up the dirt. Here’s what I would appreciate. Take my flaws, and talk about them in a witty fashion, rather than trying to understand where they came from. I would appreciate it more if you said, “Erika, your lack of social decency should earn you a gold star. It’s like you’re celebrating freedom of speech on a daily basis!” Instead of trying to figure out why I have verbal diarrhea all the time, and will randomly start talking about sex and bowel movements. Sometimes, I wish that life was a scene from “Pride and Prejudice.” If you don’t luck out in one parlor or find yourself sitting in a corner questioning yourself, there’s always another parlor. There’s always another major event with guys who will refer to your flaws in a way that will put your bloomers in a dance. For now, I’m toting around that damn light saber, and I’m gonna enjoy my flaws. Because they’re me. Although…I could still probably lose this ridiculous shirt…


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